Are You a Successful Divorced Woman
Who Wants to be Happily Remarried?
Do You Say to Yourself ~
"How do I find a great guy, now that I 'm over 40?"
"I'm worried that all the good men are already married, or only looking for younger women."
"What does it take to make a second marriage work, after my divorce?"
Or, Are You Afraid to Start Dating Again?
Do you relate to one or more of these common experiences of divorced women?
Making excuses to stay home?
Telling yourself and others that you’re too busy with work or your children?
Privately feeling dating after divorce or your breakup is too risky ~ for you or your kids?
Afraid to let a relationship become too serious, for fear that you will be betrayed or hurt again?
Looking for problems with a guy, or ending a relationship with potential, for no good reason?
Many Divorced Women Struggle With Challenges Before Finally Becoming Happily Remarried
It is natural after a painful break up, especially the painful loss of a spouse, to be cautious, to want to protect our hearts (and our children) from another painful loss. If we have been through more than one divorce or break-up, it is especially so. In fact, there is no other pain like the pain we experience when we divorce someone we love.
So taking time to be kind to yourself, to grieve, to experience and release all the painful emotions is important. It's also ultimately a necessary first step to becoming happily remarried after divorce.
The challenge comes when we get stuck in the emotions and form an isolating shell around ourselves and don't move forward with loving again.
You don't have to stay stuck in isolation, and you don't have to keep repeating your patterns of relationship pain and problems. With relationship coaching for women and the help of a couples therapist and spiritual life and relationship coach, you can really heal and move on from your divorce, get off the Relationship Roller Coaster, and become happily remarried.
What is the Relationship Roller Coaster?
Often a divorced woman goes from her previous painful marriage to new painful relationships or marriages. Along the way, she accumulates more and more feelings of pain, frustration, anger, rejection, confusion or even despair. She may ask herself in frustration,
"WHY can't I get out of this cycle?” or
"What is wrong with me, that I can't seem to have a happy marriage?"
A divorced woman may jump into relationships too soon, getting involved with men who are bad for her (or her children) while ignoring her inner knowing and wisdom. OR she may be afraid to even try, hiding out behind her work, her kids, or other responsibilities.
Either way, she is in a pattern of struggle in her intimate relationships. The more she struggles in this pattern, the more established it becomes, and she may think her situation will never change. Then she may leave another relationship, or get another divorce.
A divorced woman may quit trying to create a happy marriage at all, by resigning herself to live with the problems in her unhappy relationship, (often thinking that's all she gets to have in life). Or she may get out of the dating scene altogether (often thinking she's better off being alone). Or she may only date casually, ending relationships with potential for more.
Either way, there are multiple tracks, but one roller coaster ~ The Relationship Roller Coaster.
I've known hundreds of divorced women caught on the Relationship Roller Coaster.
As I have helped divorced women truly heal and move on from their divorces, it is striking how similar their feelings are ~ even with the unique details of their individual experiences.
For several years now, I’ve been drawing upon what I’ve learned from the relationship struggle, yearning and successes of my clients, and from getting off my own Relationship Roller Coaster, to assist other divorced women to achieve their dream of a happy, fulfilling and lasting new marriage.
You Can Become Happily Remarried after Divorce, with Spiritual Relationship Coaching for Women
Healing your heart, and recovering from your painful divorce is just the beginning.
You also need to uncover the personal resources, learn the skills you need and create a new foundation, so you can co-create a really great marriage.
My premier women's relationship coaching program, Happily Ever After can help you heal and emotionally move on from your divorce. I can help you stop struggling with problems in your relationships, stop repeating the Relationship Roller Coaster, finally get it right the next time around, and learn how to become happily remarried after your divorce. You can be empowered with the new foundation and skills you need to co-create a new happy, loving, successful marriage.
Through Happily Ever After, you can learn the principles, practices and skills to heal from the painful experiences, memories, and patterns in your past marriage or relationships.
You will discover the pathway to:
Complete the emotional steps of divorce recovery, so you can finish your divorce or last break-up for good.
Rebuild your life after divorce.
Uncover fresh new energy and joie de vivre.
Discover a new personal foundation that comes from within you for a healthy new relationship, (or a healthy new start in your current one).
Tell a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one.
Heal the wounds from the past, and become at ease, being YOURSELF in relationships.
Discover how to ATTRACT a good man.
Nurture a good relationship.
Find out the secret to the marriage of your dreams (it’s not what you probably think!), at ANY age!
Learn proven, practical and easy-to-use self-care and relationship-care skills to step out of day-to-day relationship struggle and problems, so you can live happily ever after in the real world!
What is Happily Ever After?
Happily Ever After is more than appointments or a series of sessions. It's a thoughtfully crafted complete program specifically designed to guide you to heal from your divorce, and create the personal foundation you need for a happy, lasting new marriage.
In divorce therapy or counseling, clients typically schedule one session at a time, or sometimes a package of sessions. Happily Ever After goes beyond a divorce support group for women. Divorce recovery support groups are groups often led by lay people or hosted by churches. They cannot by their structure, nature and time constraints, facilitate very much personalized deeper healing for individual participants.
Happily Ever After is unique relationship coaching for women. One of my flagship spiritual life and relationship coaching programs, it is thoughtfully, carefully and intentionally designed; a highly fine-tuned personalized and step-wise program to empower you to become happily remarried after your divorce. You will be guided in:
Healing and moving on emotionally from your divorce.
Getting off your personal Relationship Roller Coaster, and
Creating a new personal foundation for the loving, lasting, happy new marriage you desire.
The most important central distinction of Happily Ever After is that we go beyond and deeper than typical divorce counseling or a divorce support group for women, to finish your divorce emotionally and find and resolve the hidden, root causes of the relationship problems of your Relationship Roller Coaster. Beyond life transitions or divorce counseling, I provide personalized guidance to resolve these root causes underlying your immediate and longer-standing relationship problems. This is the foundation so you can learn how to become happily remarried after divorce. You will finally be able to create the happy marriage you desire, from the inside out.
Other distinctions of Happily Ever After include a specific number of appointments, plus personalized easy-to-use self and relationship-care tools, to help you to make the changes you achieve lasting.
You can learn more in general about my Specialized Programs, including why clients begin this way, on the Getting Started page.
You May Have Questions ...
"I feel like I'm done with my divorce. Will this program help me find and marry a great guy and make our new marriage happy?"
I understand you feel complete with the emotional healing of your divorce. Many of my clients have felt finished with their divorce when they started their Happily Ever After program. They have found they felt lighter and freer as we quickly make sure there are no lingering, hidden issues. Clients often feel reassured that they are ready to move forward with their current relationship or to attract new love.
Happily Ever After can help you feel similar freedom and reassurance, as you move forward creating your personal new beginning for the lasting, emotionally-close marriage you want.
"I've been through divorce counseling and been in a divorce support group for women, and I'm still not over it."
I understand if you still don't feel over your divorce. Coping with life transitions takes some women longer than others. Many of my clients have felt the same, some even years after their divorce was final. As we have worked together in their program, my clients have found the deeper healing they needed to finally be free to move on and become happily remarried. So can you.
"Now that I'm a divorced mom, I'm busier than ever with work and my kids, and don't have a lot of time. Will this help me juggle the demands of my daily life?"
I understand how busy you feel and how hectic it can be for divorced moms learning to cope with their new life and life transitions. I raised my two daughters after divorce, and remember how busy I felt. Most of my clients felt the same way and could relate as well!
As we have worked together a surprising thing often happens ~ my clients feel freed from unconscious stress and burdens they weren't aware they carried. They found life is easier and less hectic. They find they have renewed energy, buoyancy, and joie de vivre, and time feels like it's on their side. Pretty juicy, right?
"I just want to get on with my life! Will I have to dredge through all my painful memories and feelings?"
Talking about painful feelings can be difficult, and I understand you may feel hesitant about it; after all, divorce is a really hard emotional experience for most women. Many of my clients felt the same way before beginning our work together.
As women worked with me in relationship coaching , they have found so much relief as their painful memories and feelings were finally resolved, released and healed. They found that thinking about their divorce no longer filled them with dread, anger or angst anymore, because they found deeper emotional healing.
“I struggled for so long in my previous marriage, before my divorce. I am ready for my life to be different NOW. Does this take a long time?”
I understand the desire you feel for your life to be different now, after struggling for a long time. I did too, and most of my divorced women clients have felt the same at some point in their journey.
Many clients have found they begin to feel better, with less struggle and hurt, anger, depression, guilt or other painful emotions, very quickly; within one to two sessions. As human beings healing does take time; yet most women have found that the work we do together yields real and lasting benefits more rapidly than divorce therapy, a divorce support group for women, or anything else they have ever tried to heal from their divorces, end their relationship problems, and become happily remarried.
Opening the Door with Three Locks: Turning the Keys to Your Happy New Marriage
Why Work with Me?
As a couples counselor and relationship therapist, and life-long spiritual healing intuitive, I was directly guided in creating Happily Ever After. I have synthesized the learning and wisdom of over 30 years of my professional and personal inspiration, experience and expertise to design a holistic individual coaching program of spiritual healing for relationship problems. Happily Ever After was born from my own Heroine's Journey of becoming happily remarried after 2 divorces. This unique, specialty relationship coaching program for women gets to the root of the causes of your relationship problems, and guides divorced women just like you to heal from your divorce.
We then go beyond that to find and heal your own specific and personal underlying reasons for relationship pain, struggle and problems. Together, we go on a treasure hunt and once we find them, we heal them.
Finding and healing the hidden root causes, truly is a treasure. In their discovery and healing, you turn the first two keys to healing from your divorce, and becoming empowered to be happily remarried.
Unlocking the door with these two keys is priceless in itself!
The third treasure is found through recovering your personal Inner Foundation. Even more priceless, doing so turns the third key and opens a door within you. Opening this door empowers you to access the personal resources you need to co-create your flourishing, happy new marriage after your divorce, in the real world.
Opening the door by turning these three keys has made all the difference for countless women, to write their own real-life Cinderella stories.
Having personally traveled this path and opened my own door, I know the journey firsthand. I am now happily remarried. Now I guide accomplished divorced women like you to open their own door for the happy lasting, new marriage their heart desires.
The Stakes are High for Not Turning the Keys
The risks of not turning the keys are high. They include:
Staying on the Relationship Roller Coaster, and going through more rounds of unhappy relationships or marriages, more painful and costly break ups or divorces.
Leaving a legacy of divorce for your children. Research shows adults whose parents divorced when they were children, are at greater risk to divorce themselves.(1) This legacy can become a generational wound.
Unhealed emotional trauma and upheaval that is carried forward in your life and the lives of your children and grandchildren, and perhaps never healed in this life.
Never experiencing the full blooming of your woman's heart, the joy and fulfillment, the yummy closeness and connection, and the fulfillment of giving your greatest contributions in the world.
Research shows that magic happens when a woman is securely married in a stable, loving close partnership ~ when a woman is beloved ~ she is empowered and freed to soar in every other area of her life.(2) By not turning the keys to the marriage your heart Desires, you risk all of this, too.
Does This Speak to Your Heart?
Tune in to your Self and your woman's deep Inner Knowing ...
If what you have read here speaks to your heart and your deepest desires, and you feel a woman's inner recognition of truth ~ if you are ready to finish your divorce for good ~ if you are ready to heal the memories, feelings and patterns of your past relationship problems and get off the Relationship Roller Coaster ~ if you are ready to create your Inner Foundation and new beginning for becoming happily remarried after your divorce in the emotionally-close, lasting new marriage you hunger for ~ I invite you to request a complimentary 15 minute connecting call.
Let's talk and see if we're a fit for helping you attract the man and create the marriage you deeply Desire ~ the marriage that will make your heart sing.
(1) For a good summary, see Effects of Divorce on Children's Future Relationships, at Marripedia.org.
(2) Sue Johnson, PhD, is one of the first researchers highlighting this impact of the emotional quality of a woman's marriage on other areas of her life. See for example, her book entitled, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy with Trauma Survivors: Strengthening Attachment Bonds.
CLIENT LOVE STORIES
Praise for Happily Ever After
"Happily Ever After is a forward-thinking, well-rounded program for finally understanding and exiting our seemingly endless cycles of relationship pain, and replacing them with cycles of fulfillment and conscious relating.
It has the potential to heal not just the relationship struggles we've experienced personally, but inter-generational ones as well.
Debra’s use of transformational spiritual energy healing methods is very exciting and promises a faster route toward living from that cleaner, clearer place.
Kudos to Debra for creating this program; I await her forthcoming book, Cinderella Wisdom: A Woman's Quest for Freedom, Happiness & Lasting Love with eager anticipation!"
Dr. Jasmine Samrad Roloff, JSD
Paige & Tomas' Love Story
When Paige started working with me she had been divorced for some time. She was in her late thirties, and deeply wanted to be married again. Her problem was she kept attracting and being attracted to all the wrong men. Over the years, despite her desire to the contrary, she had repeatedly dated ladies' men, men who loved drinking too much, and men who were really looking for a woman to take care of them.
Paige was fed up with the Relationship Roller Coaster, and wanted to find and love a good man who was ready and prepared to invest in a healthy, loving committed marriage and adult partnership.
She had tried on her own for a while, and came to the realization after her last break-up that maybe there was more to achieving her heart's desire of a new happy and lasting marriage, than dating sites, social media and the singles scene in her home town...
READ MORE to learn how Paige started attracting a different kind of man.
Gina & Daniel's Love Story
Gina* was obviously upset. “I broke up with my fiancé. Can I schedule an appointment with you right away?” I could hear the tears in her voice.
Gina was in her early 40’s when she began working with me in Happily Ever After. She had been married before, and had 3 other significant relationships since her divorce, including with the fiancé who had just broken their engagement.
Her desire for a loving, happy, lasting and emotionally-close marriage was potent. She ached for the fulfillment of her heart’s strong desire, and she kept trying, going from one relationship to the next ...
KEEP READING to learn how Gina married the love of her life.
Yvonne & Mark's Love Story, Part II
Yvonne* is a mother with 4 children, nearing the end of her divorce when she contacted me. She and her husband had been married for 11 years before separating and the divorce was hard and “messy.”
She wanted it; he didn’t, and he was fighting it with every resource he could muster, including financial, emotional and recruiting family and friends to his “side”.
As is common for women who are the ones to choose the divorce, Yvonne was well along the path of her emotional healing, since she had begun the emotional divorce process prior to their separation. She wanted to be sure she didn’t leave anything out, and she wanted help in creating the best possible outcome for her children; she was concerned they were being pulled into the quagmire by their father.
It was a hard situation; there was a lot of social disapproval, stigma and lack of emotional support for women choosing divorce in her community...
READ MORE to learn how Yvonne met and married her soul partner, Mark.