This is a post I didn't think I would write, at least not yet. But I feel drawn to share the experience I have had over the last several months of receiving Living Water from Divine Mother in real and tangible ways.. The fact that Sunday was Mother's Day is also significant in sharing this.
On Mother's Day, I share a post highlighting one of my favorite modern hymns: a recording of Bobby McFerrin's 23rd Psalm (dedicated to his mother). The male references to the father God are changed, and the hymn clearly speaks praise, thanksgiving and gratitude to a mother. The first time I heard this was in rehearsal with the civic chorale that I sing with. I was moved to tears, because I knew, deep within me, that while it is commonly heard as praise for earthly mothers, it is also, the direct expression of love, praise and gratitude for Divine Mother.
Only someone who knows her, and has experience being held in her loving hands, could have written this beautiful and moving modern version.
The second time I experienced a profound experience of love and gratitude and being held in her loving hands, was when I heard the men's a cappella group, Cantus, sing this in the same sacred space where our local chorale sings. This time, it was also profoundly moving to me, that not only was this performed by a men's only octet, it was written to be performed this way.
If you have never heard this moving hymn of praise and gratitude, listen now, as Cantus sings.
In the fall of 2016, I was hospitalized with severe bleeding, and testing indicated likely endometrial cancer. I felt shocked, as many feel who have such an experience. Two months later I had surgery and in April 2017 completed 7 rounds of chemotherapy. I lost weight, and most of my hair. Needless to say, this was a profoundly impactful experience that has transformed my life in many, many ways.
Throughout this experience Divine Mother has been with me ~ from the moment I first sensed there was something wrong that I needed medical help for, through the way my body helped me get the help I needed, to finding the ideal medical specialist and her team for me; through surgery, and the healing afterward, to starting chemotherapy 2 weeks before Christmas, and each subsequent treatment, to telling children and family members, testing, infusions, blood work, and needle sticks ~ every step of the way, every day, She has been with me.
I knew something was coming; I had been foretold about 4.5 years ago, that something big was going to occur, and that it would be life changing. I also was told that many things I have worked hard for, for a number of years, are on the other side of this, and immediately knew when this started to develop, that this experience was what I had been told about. I was also promised I would receive a full and complete healing and restoration of my health. And I was promised peace and the presence of the Divine, and that I would be carried through it.
I have felt Her living presence, love and peace with me nearly every day since then, and still do. In this peace and love, there is also the presence and love of Yeshua and the Father of All, and my spiritual family. I have also felt distinctly and directly the presence of Divine Mother, in a way that is both as familiar as the heartbeat of my children, and yet new ~ new because it is so distinctly clear that it is her.
I have had profound direct spiritual experiences through-out my life, yet this degree of closeness and tangible presence is new to me. Often I turn to my right or left, and expect to see her walking beside me just out of my peripheral vision.
I have felt her presence and love through the loving, constancy of my husband Larry, who has walked beside me daily through this, through the unexpected kindness of people I barely know, such as the prayers offered in my behalf by the pharmacist where I filled my anti-nausea medication, through the love and support of my daughters, who have blessed me through coming from California to help shortly after surgery, and since then.
I have felt her presence and bountiful gifts of "good things" through the many cards, prayers, flowers, food and well wishes others have sent over these last months, and through the unexpected love and prayers of my husband's father's special friend, who has prayed for me daily for months, as she would one of her own daughters.
Divine Mother's presence is tangible in the park and garden where I love to go to meditate, walk, read, write and pray. I feel her in the water of the lake, in the forest surrounding the park, in the forest labyrinth, and the outdoor wedding chapel that is surprisingly reminiscent of Stonehenge. I feel her in the roses, the camellias, and the daffodils and columbine that have naturalized under the trees.
Divine Mother has been virtually everywhere I have gone through these last months, blessing me with an abundance of love, support and good things through her mother's loving, steadfast presence and care.
Symbolically and energetically, cancer is an experience of initiation; an invitation to deep change. I was surprised that this was a chapter I was to go through, given that I have personally been engaged on my own Heroine's Journey of Soul Work for quite some time now. Yet I can say, that there was work for me to do, in addition to the physical healing of my body.
Energetically, chemotherapy is hot and drying, like fire. It burns cancer out of you. If you let it, the journey of healing from cancer will create space in you for new beginnings in deep places within that you have not seen, or been able to access before. This has been my experience of this healing journey.
Divine Mother has been my guide, my companion, my support through this process, and not only in mystical moments. In tangible needs and experiences day to day, she continues to be by my side. Ultimately it is her love, and her love presenced through others, that is healing the deep places of my Soul.
I do not believe my need for her, nor my experience of this deep initiatic transformation, is unique to me. The need and the reconnection with Divine Mother is part of the calling and Soul Work of our age. Every one of us the world over, needs to experience her loving, transforming presence to bring in the healing that is needed so that the earth and our human family can regain the love, the peace, the plenty and the genuine partnership between women and men of the original blueprint of creation. It is crucial that we do.
We don't need to go through the experience of cancer to find her and experience her healing impact in our lives. She is present everywhere, as I now experience, She is as familiar as the heartbeat of our children and Beloved. She wants to be a part of our lives. As mothers, would we abandon our children? Neither does Divine Mother.
She is here, now. It is time for each of us to receive the deep healing and restoration of Soul that comes through her Living Water.
The Lord is my Shepherd,
I have all I need
She makes me lie down in green meadows
Beside the still waters she will lead.
She restores my soul,
She rights my wrongs
She leads me in a path of good things
and fills my heart with song.
Even though I walk through a dark and dreary land
There is nothing that can shake me
She has said, she won't forsake me
I'm in her hand.
She sets a table before me
In the presence of my foes
She anoints me head with oil
and my cup overflows.
Surely, surely goodness and kindness
Will follow me
All the days of my life
and I will live in her house forever, forever and ever.
Glory be to our Mother, and Daughter
and to the Holy of Holies
As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be
World without end, Amen.
The 23rd Psalm (dedicated to my mother) Bobby McFerrin
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